Register: formal, neutral, casual

Match your words to the person and the moment, and soften a request. Lesson 37 of 58: Professional, CEFR C1.

Three registers

The same request can be casual, neutral or formal. Casual: “Can you send it?” Neutral: “Could you send it, please?” Formal: “Would you mind sending it?” or “I was wondering if you could send it.” The more you are asking, and the less well you know the person, the more formal you go.
Can you check this? (A teammate, a small thing)
Could you possibly check this by Friday? (Neutral and polite)
I was wondering if you’d have time to review this. (A senior person, a big ask)

English speakers soften requests, criticism and disagreement with small words: just, a bit, slightly, perhaps, might, would, I think, I’m afraid, I wonder. “You’re wrong” becomes “I’m not sure that’s quite right.” “Send it now” becomes “Could you just send it over when you get a moment?”
The past tense softens too: “I wanted to ask…”, “I was hoping…”. It sounds less direct, not more past.
I’m afraid we can’t do that. (A soft no)
It might be a good idea to double-check. (Soft advice)
I was hoping we could talk about the timeline.
Tip: Direct is not rude in every culture, but in English it often sounds rude. When in doubt, add a softener.

“Would you mind + -ing?” is a polite request. Careful with the answer: “No, not at all” means yes, I’ll do it. “Do you mind if I…?” asks permission; “No, go ahead” means yes.
Would you mind closing the window? (No, not at all.)
Do you mind if I join you? (No, please do.)

Make the same request three ways, to a close teammate, to a colleague in another department, and to the CEO: you need help with a presentation next week.
Casual for the teammate
Neutral, with please, for the colleague
Formal and softened for the CEO

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