Feedback and difficult conversations

Give and take feedback, say no and apologise well. Lesson 42 of 58: Professional, CEFR C1.

Giving feedback: situation, behaviour, impact

Describe the situation, the specific behaviour, and its impact, then ask: “In yesterday’s client call (situation), you interrupted the client twice (behaviour). I think they felt unheard (impact). How did you see it?” It is about actions, not personality: never “You’re rude”.
In this morning’s meeting, when you presented the figures… (Situation)
…you explained the risks really clearly… (Behaviour)
…and it helped the client trust us. (Impact)

Listen, thank, clarify, and only then respond: “Thanks for telling me. Can you give me an example?” Avoid defending yourself instantly. You can say “I’d like to think about that” and come back.
Thanks for being honest with me.
Could you give me an example?
That’s fair. I’ll work on it.

A good no: thank, say no clearly, give a short reason, offer an alternative. “Thanks for thinking of me. I can’t take this on this week because of the audit, but I could help next Monday.”
A good apology: say sorry for the specific thing, own it without excuses, say how you will fix it. “I’m sorry I missed the deadline. That’s on me. I’ll have it to you by noon tomorrow.”
I’d love to, but I can’t this week.
I’m sorry, that was my mistake. Here’s what I’ll do.
Tip: “I’m sorry if you were upset” is not an apology: it blames their feelings. Apologise for what you did.

Practise three short speeches: positive feedback to a colleague (situation, behaviour, impact), a kind no to an extra task, and an apology for a mistake you made.
My feedback named a specific behaviour and its impact
My no had thanks, a reason and an alternative
My apology owned it and said how I’ll fix it

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